Two Flat Tires

uncaptured night shots
the whisper of the breeze
as the wheel turns
the world stops
half my body sits
but my entire soul rests
on the journey going home
my life is right beside me
protected by my arms
i will never let go

my 4PM alarm just went off. i should have already taken a shower, dressed up, and going on my way to the office by now to pick bj up. then we have dinner and/or dessert. then i take her home. then i go to my 11PM shift.

but no. i'm currently in a place that i used to call "home". yet, i feel like i'm miles away from home. already depressed by the current events i'm facing right now, i still have to deal with the cherry on top which is missing her badly. longing for that hug that seems to say, "please stay with me" and "there is nothing to worry about". maybe it would have been easier to deal with everything if i can hold her clammy hands.

month-saries - i used to think they were overrated. i probably hated the idea before because of the bitter, play-safe, single-for-the-nth-year me during those times. but there i was the other day, making special arrangements at a fancy restaurant, handing a boquet of roses to the food attendant, and giving instructions on when to serve the food and when to give the flowers to her.

i waited for more than two hours for her to arrive but i was not dissapointed about it. that day was a happy day. it can not be ruined even if the food attendant dropped two glasses of frozen iced tea in front of us, or if the cab driver and the flower arranger was taking advantage of the occasion and charging double for their services. they may not really know about it, but the blooming smiles on our faces are enough to show that we were celebrating something special that day.

now i think i know why people in relationships tend to celebrate these so-called "month-saries". people indeed do crazy things when they are in love. and the list does not just end with celebrating "month-saries".

some people would call in sick for work just to spend a day or two with you; would not eat skip some meals just to save up for your big date for the coming weekend; would love your quirky parents, siblings, relatives and children; ultimately, they would also love you even if the you had your own idiosyncrasies; and some people would leave their comfort zone and change their way of living just so their way of living would include you, because you are now the comfort zone.

i guess "month-saries" are just one of these crazy gestures. maybe they are held because people would like to celebrate each moment that they have with the one they love. heck, if "day-saries" are feasible, some people might even consider it.

the dinner was fairly good, yet the boquet of flowers was just the typical kind. the view of the cebu skyline from tops was exceptional, but getting around was a challenge because of the lowballing cab drivers. but it did not matter if majority of the date was just so-and-so. just the same, it would not have made a difference even if we traded the fantastic dinner with street food.

bottomline is, the date itself could have gotten better or worse but it was not a big deal. it was not the dinner, the view, nor the flowers that counted. it was the person i was spending all that time with. i would not have it any other way.

happy first!

today i have decided to wear good slacks, leather shoes, a good shirt that was bought for me by bj, and even briefs and socks that i consider my best ones. i was all dressed up.

i dressed up because i will be handling a new hire class today. i have been assigned as a peer trainer since last month, and i have been having a blast. i can still remember when dia called me, asking if i'd be willing to extend my stay here in cebu. i gave her an instant big yes. who will say no to such an offer? i have always wanted to be a peer trainer, i have been loving the life here in cebu, and bj is here. what's more to ask for?

so i said yes. and i did a no-show on my return flight.

and i have been doing all my best in training, even i can't believe that i can be this productive and hard-working. i simply love what i have been doing.

then the training manager here asked for a minute with me and took me out of class.

dia needs me back in the team to take calls. damn it. karl damn it. reality bit me harder than a bee sting in the eye. dia is still my manager, and she has the say in this situation. so rob will be back next week.

prepare for the storm.

time runs fast when she's here.
but im as much as i want to freeze each frame,
i cannot make time cease.
and when she's off to neverland,
i'm left all alone
in a world where time is lost.
i'm acutely aware of each second of her absence.
i wish am with her at least in her dreams.
and i hope that she remembers,
when she escapes from the sheets,
that i'm still here.
i'd never trade a minute shared with her
even with forever,
if she will not be part of it.